I used to be afraid of my emotions. Early in life, I learned my negative emotions were wrong and others didn’t like them.
I tried to hold them in, and hold them in, and hold them in….until I would burst. This only perpetuated the belief that my emotions were too big, made others uncomfortable, and were wrong and needed to be kept hidden from others.
I became scared of not being able to control my emotions or myself.
Many years ago, I had a dear friend who was open about the messiness of her life. She allowed all her emotions to be shown. I was awestruck by the beauty and authenticity of her behavior.
I started thinking, maybe I could try this too.
Through endless ponderings with my dear life-solving-philosophical-self-reflective friend – I started to believe I could feel these emotions instead of trying to hide from them.
What if I invited anger in when she knocked on the door?
The answer and opportunity came quickly. I found myself feeling great big emotion and the person in front of me was incredibly uncomfortable with my emotions and tried shut me down.
In that moment, my life-long pattern kicked in. I was scared and wanted to hide, keep myself and my emotions locked up and never come out. But, something inside me said, Don’t hide. Face this.
I realized, the hard stuff, the emotions and experiences we most fear are the ones with our greatest potential to heal. And I called my friend and told her, I have a new motto. In the face of fear, I am going to say BRING IT ON.
Bring it on has empowered me in a way I couldn’t imagine. When I am afraid about anything…I say this to myself and I feel my entire being shift. I am not going to run and hide. I am going to stand squarely and face it. I am going to feel it all. I am going to be it all.
The irony – when I tried to avoid my fears and other emotions – they got bigger. When I face them, the soften and disappear.
This shift has changed my life.
Bring It On.