What if you could have exactly what you want in your relationship right now? What would you want? What would you be feeling if your relationship was exactly the way you’d like it to be?
We want specific things in our relationships. We think we want a specific kind of person or we want things to be a specific way. But when we focus on all those things, we lose sight of what is most important…what we want to feel. The way to have everything you want in your relationship is to determine what you want to be feeling.
The reason we want all those things a specific way is because we believe that having them that way will make us feel loved, happy, secure. Think about it for a moment. Why do you want what you want? It is because you believe that having it will make you feel what you most want to feel…happy, loved, accepted, secure.
Focusing on those details just keeps us focused on the things that don’t feel good. And we continue to look at what we don’t have and feel disappointed, hurt, unhappy…the exact opposite of what we really want to feel. We also end up missing opportunities to feel loved and happy and secure (or whatever else we want to feel) because we think it needs to look a specific way and while we’re busy looking for that one way, we miss other opportunities to create the feelings we most desire.
When we become aware of what we want to feel, we shift our focus to those feelings. And when we look for all the opportunities where we do feel loved and happy, we find them. There are more ways to feel everything we want to feel in our relationships…we just have to be open and ready to see them.