35 days to go…

If I could give my younger self a piece of advice it would be this: Don’t give much time, energy, or head space to the image you have around your body.

About a year ago, I realized how much time I have spent in my life thinking about my body size, hating my body, wishing my body would look differently, thinking about food, eating food to comfort myself, dieting, gaining weight, losing weight, starving myself, eating weird foods to lose weight fast, over-eating, restricting my food, eating food then hating myself for eating it, exercising fanatically…even writing all of this feels exhausting.

I have wasted YEARS…I am not joking….years of my life bouncing on this never-ending cycle of body shame and abuse. And when I think about what I could have been thinking instead – I cannot see this but wasted energy.

I would tell my younger self to focus on wellness instead of clothing size, to shift my attention to the way I feel instead of the way I look. I would encourage my younger self to spend time being healthy instead of fixating on the number on the scale. And I would tell her to shift her energy and attention to something more productive.

I bought into the diet culture. I bought into the belief my self-worth was somehow tied into my appearance and body size. It is not.

Go have some fun, girl. There are a lot better ways to spend your days.

3 Comments

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  1. So true – I wish my younger, and much younger self had known that. Thanks for putting it so well

  2. Hi Laura-Jeanne:
    I found when I got to 50 and hit menopause full swing the pounds started to add up. I too, spent a lot of time frustrated at the stubborn pounds that I could not seem to lose no matter what I did in terms of diet and exercise. Finally this year at age 62 I knocked some sense into myself. I knew that I had to accept the fact that I’m in later middle age and have developed the thick waisted older lady look whether I like it or not and nothing will change that. So like you, I am focused on eating as well as I can, exercise as best I can as my schedule and energy allows me. With extra walking during the lockdown and this summer I have trimmed my waist down a little bit and a friend commented that I’d lost weight. The scale still says no but at least the walking firmed me up somewhat and that has helped improve my mindset. I have also decided to wear looser fitting clothes ( a size larger) which are more comfortable and I think look better because they don’t show off my muffin top or any other bulges. Now I have more fun because I’m not self conscious of how I look.

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