When we set our goals based on things we want, we really only focus on the means to the ends. The only reason we really want something is because of how we believe we will feel when we have it. Think about it — why do you want a new job? more connection in your relationship? a new pair of shoes? a holiday?
I like to set my goals on the true end result — the way I believe I will feel when I have whatever it is that I want.
Here’s my suggestions for goal setting.
1. Ask yourself what you want. Write it down. Example: I’d like to make more money.
2. Look at each item on your list of wants and ask yourself what you believe you will feel when you have those things. Example: Having more money would allow me to feel more secure, free, relaxed, peaceful, happier.
3. Write your goal based on those feelings. I suggest using present the present tense. Example: I focus on feeling secure. I feel free. I am peaceful and I feel happier every day.
4. Look for examples of those feelings already present in your life. Example: Secure: I have a home. I have money in the bank. I feel secure in my relationship. I feel secure in my friendships. I feel secure as a mother……
5. Plant the seed in your mind to see more ways you feel those things and look for ways to feel them more often in your life.
6. Keep track of how you are feeling and what comes to you as a result.