We tend to see the worst in our partners when we are feeling the worst about ourselves. When we are quick to judge, when we criticize and complain, often it is because we are doing the same thing with ourselves.
What can we do to make this better?
1. Become aware of how you are feeling about yourself and your life. Keep a journal. Look at the words you use. Listen to yourself when you talk and hear the words you speak. The words you use will reveal a lot about how you are feeling about yourself…even if they are disguised as being about your partner or other people.
2. Be on the lookout for feelings of judgement, for complaints and for criticism. If you are feeling these emotions, spend a little time thinking and writing about them. When we write about the feelings we have about someone or something else, we often find a parallel in ourselves. Have you been feeling particularly judgemental towards yourself lately? Are you feeling negative or a bit down? See what you can discover about yourself when you write about the feelings instead of the specific things your partner is saying or doing.
3. Consciously choose to look for the good in yourself, your life, your partner and your relationship. Keeping a journal of your favorite things about your partner, what you love most about your relationship and what feels joyful in your life are a good way to find things a little more rosy in your life. Speaking kindly, praising and complimenting your partner to them and to others can really help you feel better too.
Be happy and love this week. Start with yourself and extend that to your relationship and see what results you find.