If we don’t realize we can create love on our own, we think we have to rely on someone else for our love. If we think someone else is in control of it, love becomes something that can be given or taken away. It becomes a limited resource. No wonder love has become such an elusive thing to us. It feels like we’re in some sort of lottery; we’ll either be lucky enough to find love, or we won’t.
When we rely on our partner to give us love, then we have to keep going back to them for more love. When they don’t meet our expectations, we get upset. As soon as we start doing this, we are in trouble. No one can ever fully meet our emotional needs. Anytime we ask them to, we are setting ourselves up for failure; creating a lot of conflict and unhappiness.
But this is exactly what we have been asking our partners to do when it comes to love. We rely on our partner to give us love because we think it’s the only way to get love. And when we do this, we give away our power and set ourselves up to feel unsatisfied.
When we consciously focus on love, we let go of fear. We stop holding on to our partner tightly and asking them to meet our needs. We let go, because we know we can have it all. We open our hearts and create a space for both partners to thrive.
Everything we want to feel and experience in our relationship is now within reach because it is ours to create. And when we do this, we release our partner from our demands for love and we both thrive.
Imagine the possibilities in your own relationship if you no longer require your partner to say or do (or not say or not do) certain things in order for you to feel happy.
Become aware that the emotions you have been expecting your partner to give you are actually feelings you need to create for yourself.