Being Present in Your Relationship

Being present can greatly enhance a relationship.  It helps create a deeper connection and greater intimacy.   Presence creates the opportunity to really see our partner and hear what they are really saying.   Being present provides the opportunity for us to become more aware of how we feel at any given moment.  It gives us current information about the relationship and what we can do to make it what we want it to be.

How do we become more present in our relationships?

1.  Consciously focus on and bring yourself to the present moment as much as possible throughout your day.  Any time you think of being present, draw your awareness to the now.  Where are you?  What do you see?  What do you hear?  What are you feeling?  Becoming more present in all aspects of your life helps you become more aware in your relationship. 

2. Make a point to be really present in all your interactions this week, with your partner and with everyone you meet.  When you are talking to someone, make eye contact, turn cell phones off, really focus on what the other person is saying and doing and give them your full attention.  Notice how you feel about really connecting and being present in your interactions.

3.  Plan time with your partner every day (if possible) to give them your full, undivided attention.  Create a little space in your day to be totally present with your partner.   Really hear what they are saying.  Observe what you notice about them and their behaviour.  Notice  how you feel when you see your partner and spend time with them.  Make each moment be the best moment it can be. 

4.  Anytime you find yourself thinking of something from the past that hurts or feeling unsure about the future, stop and bring yourself back to the present moment.  Check in.  What are you feeling RIGHT NOW?  What do you see, hear, feel?  Make a note of what is happening in the moment and allow that to become your focus.

Write down what you observe about yourself and your interactions this week.  Are you being as present as you can be?  If not, what is stopping you?  There are many distractions in our day, but when we really make a point to give our partner our full attention and be present (not bringing up the past or projecting in the future), you can let go of expectations and you can embrace more unconditional love.  Presence helps our relationships become more fulfilling, more loving and more connected.

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