The Present of Presence

So many of us are missing out on opportunities to love and be loved in our relationships because we are stuck in the past or scared about the future.  We are missing opportunities to love simply by not being present.

Any time we think of a hurt from the past, we start to guard ourselves; we are afraid we might get hurt again.  When we feel anger or resentment about something that has already happened, we continue hurting ourselves, by reliving it over and over.  Often, we project the hurt from the past into the future and become fearful about what may or may not ever come to be.  We start to make assumptions, we start to have expectations and we start to feel the need to control things to ensure the outcome we want.

But when we do these things, we completely take our focus off the present.  The present moment allows us to hear what our partner is really saying.   We are able to see who our partner is by observing their behaviour.   We are more in touch with what we are feeling.  We can make better decisions and have a deeper understanding of how our relationship dynamic works.  We become much more aware of ourselves, our partner and our relationship.

A relationship is created by stringing together all our present moments.   Wouldn’t it make sense to make all those moments the best they can be? 

Being present allows us the ability to really connect with our partner.  If you think about a time when you felt especially close and connected with your partner, I guarantee you were being present at that time.

Presence creates the space for greater understanding, the room for both people to be who they really are and that helps create a relationship full of greater understanding, connection and love.  Presence is one of the most effective ways to feel more joy, more connection and more love in your relationship…right…NOW!

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