Loving Matters

Loving our partner when they are stressed or going through a difficult time takes a lot of conscious awareness and willingness.

How do we begin to love more, especially when it’s difficult?

1. Becoming more aware of ourselves and our own actions and reactions is an important first step.  Even if you aren’t experiencing this kind of challenging situation with your partner right now, you can start to become more aware of yourself.  Tune in to the way you love your partner this week.  Are there times when it feels easy?  Are you finding certain times more difficult?  What made that so?  What did you notice?  Write your experiences down.

2.  Notice the times (reflecting on the past or reporting current situations) where you notice your partner is not quite their usual self.  Do you know what’s going on for them in other areas of their life?  Can you see past what they are doing and help love them through it?  Being curious and asking our partner from that perspective helps draw us closer.  Make the effort to be curious about what your partner is going through and write down what happens.

3.  Practice conscious loving all week, especially in times when it feels more challenging.  Write down what you experience.

The most important thing we can do for ourselves, our partner and our relationship is to be more curious, become more connected and do what we can to reach out and really be there and love each other.  Making a conscious effort to love more unconditionally can make a huge difference in a relationship.

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3 Comments

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  1. What a great exercise, LJ! Another thing that I find that helps me is to look for the truth in what he is saying ~ this is difficult when he’s saying something about ME. My initial reaction is to be defensive and do whatever I can to prove him wrong, but if I step back and entertain the thought that there might be some truth to what he’s saying, it actually helps diffuse me and be much more empathetic to him. Challenging but so worth it!

    • Thank you so much for sharing that, Kate, what a great piece of wisdom. As much as we don’t like to admit it, there is often truth in what our partner is expressing. It’s another really great way to look at the situation and find our way to a more neutral place in the moment and allow us time and space to see what’s really going on. I really appreciate you sharing that today!

  2. Well, my very own beloved Libra taught me that himself! I remember being in AWE the first time I saw him finding the truth in the negative that someone said about him ~ he totally owned it and changed the situation. Really amazing.

    Libras are wonderful! 🙂

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