Do you remember what it felt like when you were falling in love? Do you remember all those wonderful qualities you first saw in your partner that made you think this was someone really incredible?
It feels extraordinary. That’s why so many songs, books and movies are written about falling in love.
But, these feelings can change over time and we begin to see some other qualities in our partner; qualities that don’t seem quite so wonderful. Hurt, frustration and disappointment start to show up and somehow that perfect partner doesn’t seem quite so perfect anymore.
Why did they change? They didn’t.
It was our perspective that changed. When we first meet someone and are really attracted to them, we see all their best qualities because; a) that’s what we want to see (it’s what we focus on) and b) it is what we bring out in each other.
When we are in-love, excited and in a state of bliss, we are relaxed and at ease with our partner. We see our relationship in the most positive light. We have very few or no expectations. There is space for everyone to thrive and bask in the love.
But when we are hurting, we have demands and expectations, there is a greater tendency to feel hurt and disppointed, we feel tension and that usually brings out the less desireable qualities in both people.
The great thing is that it is we can consciously change and control the way we feel.
Anytime you want to get back to those loving feelings, you can. You’ve accessed them once, you can do it again. It’s all about changing your focus and choosing to look for the things that you want to feel. What you see is what you get.
If you look for love and happiness and connection, you’ll find it and feel it. What you choose to see, is what you’ll get.