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I would like to thank the writers of “Sex In The City” for providing a perfect example of one of the biggest mistakes people make in their relationships.

The main character, Carrie Bradshaw, dates her dream man, Mr. Big;  but she wants more in their relationship and feels unhappy so they break up.  She isn’t happy without him and they get back together.  But she finds problems again, so they break up again and the cycle continues.  Eventually, she gets everything she wants;  she has the man, the house, the career (and yes, the shoes), but she still finds problems and feels dissatisfied because it still isn’t enough.

This character, Carrie, does what so many of us do.  We look to our partner and our relationship to make us feel good and it never quite feels like enough. Carrie gives away her power and the possibility to really feel good because she bases her happiness on her partner’s behaviour.

That’s why she continues to feel bad. It isn’t really about the relationship or what Mr. Big does;  it’s about her.

So, what should Carrie do?  What should we do?

We need to take the focus off our partner and put it back on ourselves.  We need to figure out who we are and what makes us happy.  We need to find it on our own.

 And when we do find that happiness, we are the one to bring it to our relationship and it finally feels like it’s more than enough.

If you want to feel happy in your relationship, feel happy in yourself.  It all starts and ends with you.