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We are not perfect and neither is our partner.  We are going to say things, do things, use a particular word or tone that our partner dislikes.  It’s part of being.  It’s not our job to make sure we are always being what our partner wants us to be and it’s not their job to do that for us either. 

So what do we do, when we feel our partner isn’t being perfect…and we want them to be?

1.  Think about what your partner has done that upsets, hurts or angers you.  If you really look at it more closely, can you honestly say it isn’t something that you do to others or have done at some point in the past?  Sometimes it may not be a direct match…but the underlying part of it is likely similar to things you do.  Become more aware of how those things that bother you most are related to you.

2.   Think about a time when you’ve done something similar and write down what you would have liked your partner to say or do in that moment when you were the one acting out.  Those things you would have wanted may give you a clue about the best way to approach your partner too.

3.  Write down a list of things you love about your partner.  Do this everyday and focus on the things that have attracted you most to them.  Remembering what you love most helps us be more patient and understanding in those trying moments.

Love yourself and love your partner.