Take some expectations, mix them with feelings of hurt and resentment, add a pinch of fear and focus on the past, combine with the feeling that your partner is responsible for your happiness and what you’ve created is a perfect recipe for keeping away what we all want to feel most…Love.
And yet, this is what most of us do in our relationships…everyday.
I’ve been in these kinds of relationships. I’ve wanted my partner to give me everything I wanted, the exact way I wanted it. And, I’ve felt like I could never quite give enough or give what my partner wanted the right way.
This led to a lot of dissatisfaction in my relationship because neither of us were ever really being ourselves. There was never any breathing room. I was either looking for my partner to make me feel happy or he was looking to me to make him feel happy. And neither of us were happy because we felt that we had something that could be lost and that loss always seemed imminent. We both felt we had to live up to expectations and that feels like a lot of pressure. And instead of being our true selves, we just walked around in fear and insecurity.
But now, I am more conscious of myself and what I am doing in my relationship. Awareness has helped me develop a better understanding of who I am and that helps me be more honest with myself and my partner. I have been able to tune in to my needs and I do the best I can to meet my own needs. And, because my needs are met, I feel better about myself and I bring this positive energy to my relationship.
Every time my partner and I get to this place, it feels like total freedom. We are both free to be exactly who we are without fear of anything. We are free to express ourselves in the way that feels best, we see each other for who we are. And we are free to use our time, energy, love and support in other areas of our lives because it is there, tenfold. It is the most powerful, liberating and loving feeling I’ve ever experienced in a relationship.
It takes awareness. It takes willingness. And, it takes courage. But it is so worth it, to push ourselves to start to experience the power of two.