I drove home in the fog yesterday and as I was driving, I realized what a great analogy it was for this week’s topic: being present in our relationships.
As I drove, I could no longer determine where I was along my journey. I wasn’t able to see ahead; so I was unable to anticipate corners and hills, I didn’t know how far I still had to drive and I couldn’t see if there were other vehicles or obstacles in the way on my path. It was important to keep my eyes on what I could see, so I wasn’t able to spend too much time looking back either. I glanced in the rear view mirror from time to time to see what was behind me, but ultimately, I needed to be focused on what I could see which happened to be, the present.
I found that I was more alert and aware. I felt competent and capable of handling whatever was ahead. I was able to drive around the corners and adjust my driving simply by being in the moment. I didn’t need to know where I was exactly or what was ahead, I just needed to be focused on what I was doing and keep doing it to the best of my ability.
When we are looking back or planning too far ahead in our relationships, we tend to get into more ‘accidents’ than when we are really alert and present with our partner. I hear so many people saying their partner changed over the years and I wonder if they really did or if we weren’t as present as we could have been and missed seeing who they really are while we were focusing on the past or dreaming of the future. Bringing our attention back to the present can help us see our partner and our relationship more clearly and allow us to be more aware of what we are doing and make any necessary changes along the way.
You are the driver. Navigate your way to the best relationship you can create!