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Everything was going well in my life.  I was single, I had a good job, great friends, nice things and money in the bank.  I was mostly happy, but I was lonely.

I thought to myself, “If I met someone special and got married, then I’d feel really happy.

I got married, but after awhile, I wasn’t as happy as I thought I would be.

I thought to myself, “If we bought a house, then I’m sure I’d feel really happy.

We bought a house, but I still wasn’t as happy as I thought I should be.

I thought to myself, “If we…

But, just like the Carrie Bradshaw character from “Sex in the City” (Monday’s discussion), I had the misinformed idea that I would somehow, magically, feel happy if my partner did all the things he was supposed to do to make me happy and if I continued to progress in life as I thought I should. 

It didn’t happen that way. 

What I ended up discovering was that all of those things were distracting me from finding my own happiness.  It was easy to blame my partner for not making me happy.  It was easy to think that just having one more thing would make me feel the happiness I longed to feel.  But, those thoughts were keeping me away from looking at myself and realizing that the fact was…I wasn’t that happy myself and I was the only one who could remedy that.

Since that time, I have become increasingly more aware that I am responsible for the way I feel and I can consciously choose my feelings. 

I have discovered that I had things backward.  I was always looking for something or someone else to make me feel happier.  Now, I look within to feel happy and it makes a world of difference.  It has freed me in a way I could not imagine.  It allows me to have the joy and happiness in my relationship that I longed for so badly back then but didn’t feel.

This is the kind of happiness you can feel too in your life and in your relationship.  It is in you and yours to find.